Hello! It’s been a while hasn’t it?
No. I’m not going to say “I’ll be more active now”, because every time I’m saying this it ends up with me exactly NOT doing it.
But honestly I’m feeling good right now, and it feels good to say this. I’m feeling good to the point I started reading again which is nice because apparently it has a positive effect on me. It inspires me and keeps me motivated. I say this because the two last years I really had trouble concentrating on reading a book until the end. Even though you enjoy reading it and love the story. Like when you start reading a book and something happens in between and suddenly your not motivated nor concentrated any more, anyone who can relate? I mean I’ve been painting and drawing a lot (even though again I didn’t share a lot of it) Yet I don’t know I had trouble being really active on Instagram and other social media except in my story … which isn’t necessarily bad. To be honest I’ve been more productive thanks to it.
Then I had a seasonal job for the winter and the colleagues were really nice. I really enjoyed working there. I went through many roller coasters but again right now I feel really good and motivated. As if I finally know what I want again and where I’m heading to.
Anyway this was just for a little update.
Before I leave you to cook for my family though I would love to share this little art haul video I did just now. I’m really proud of it and I’d really appreciate a little comment or something … for the support? (god I’m kind of shy when it comes to sharing videos) Anyway have a nice day or evening or night, and I’ll see you soon! Stay safe! ♥
Hello! It’s been a while hasn’t it?
I realize again how important it is not to lose sight of your dreams and your goals, which is easy to in the world we live in.
It’s easy to forget who you are and where you’re from. Sure we change every day and who you are today is someone else then who you’ll be tomorrow, but this doesn’t change the fact that only you really know who you are and what is right for you.
I’m also not talking about remembering “where you’re from” in terms of a home or a place. It is more a metaphor to describe where you started from and what made you choose the path you’ve taken. Is this what you want or did someone else tell you to do it? Or not literally tell you to do it, but something put you under pressure that this had to be your way, even though you felt that it was completely against your nature and that it just didn’t feel right. How can something that weights on your shoulders, something that feels so heavy to the point that even your heart is hitting against the walls telling you that ‘this is not you’ be the right path?
Maybe you’re depressed, emotional, vulnerable and hurt but this doesn’t deprive you of knowing what’s best for you, doesn’t it?
Sometimes we care so much about what other people say until we start believing that they’re right even when we know that they were wrong.
Don’t lose hope, don’t lose your dreams, believe in yourself, trust yourself and listen to your intuition … because that’s who you are.
For me, I might be introverted and quiet but it doesn’t make me less confident nor optimistic. In fact, I know exactly what I want.
I just don’t like to get stuck onto a dream. Whilst having goals and dreams is a good thing I know very well that sometimes things just turn out differently than expected.
This isn’t bad as long as you’re happy.
Yet just because things turn out differently at one time it doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to continue chasing after your dreams. Just don’t rush it and take your time.
And if you feel that a dream isn’t you any more because everyone grows, then don’t hold onto it just because you feel obligated to. Again this is your life and your decisions to make.
After seven months I’ve finally uploaded a new painting timelapse to my YouTube channel. I’m going to try to be more active on YouTube now in general. So if you’re interested in speedpaints, animatic, poetry, lots of nature and if you like hearing my thoughts on various topics then check out my YouTube channel. ♥
I’ve always been told that my art is very emotional eventually sad or melancholic, too.
To me art is a way of describing and sharing your feelings, sharing your thoughts without having to say something.
It is clear that the viewers will all interpret the artwork differently even when their interpretation is similar, but it’s interesting.
I like to say that art isn’t only a way to express yourself, but also a way to connect with people in a non-verbal way.
The most beautiful thing is that someone out there might be looking at your art feeling relieved by it.
As if the artwork understood, what they had thought or felt in this very moment.
You might even save someone’s day or even someone’s life with your art.
Emotions come in various forms. They are happiness, joy, sadness, anger, emptiness, gratitude, grief. The list is endless.
Yet I realized that sometimes people are afraid of “negative” emotions linked with emotional pain.
But to be honest I don’t see them as “bad”. How can they be bad or negative if we have them?
These feelings are there, and they are valid. There’s nothing wrong with it. There’s nothing about it to be ashamed of. You feel sad? It’s okay. You feel hurt? It’s okay. You’re angry? It’s okay. Feeling empty? Yes, even this is okay. You don’t need a reason not to be okay. If you’re not okay then you aren’t and you don’t have to justify your sadness, your pain to anyone.
Just don’t push it away.
Vulnerability is nothing to be scared of. I am vulnerable and that’s okay.
This doesn’t make me any less strong, optimistic, or cheerful.
Art is a way of self-care. If you can’t explain it, if it feels too hard to talk about it, then write it, paint it, sing it. Art is endless.
If someone tells you that your art is so sad and dark, then so it is. If they believe that because your art is vulnerable then you must be too, so it is.
If someone tells you that you must be sad because your art is too, but you know that you aren’t or aren’t any more so it is and it is not their place to tell you that you are not.
Kindly remind them, “Yes, I might be vulnerable, but that’s okay. It makes me who I am.” because who could always be happy and positive. Don’t we all have our ups and downs?
Isn’t vulnerability part of the reason why we’re alive?
Emotions in art. Don’t push them away or even suppress them.
Allow them into creative process.
I started a collection called “Retro LGBTQ+“, which you can purchase merch and prints from in my shop.
The first design of the “collection” was created in december ’19 and was for asexuals.
It is scary to me how some people seem to still have such a hard time in dealing with someone in their surrounding being gray-, demi- or asexual or even accepting them.
Whatever the reason is, never let anyone tell you that you aren’t valid.
Your feelings are valid. Your experiences are valid. So are you.
Like many others it took me a long road to find out about asexuality. I was attracted to diverse people, not caring about their gender. I first thought I was bisexual, then discovered pansexuality which fitted more.
But never could anything describe how I really felt. Sure I was attracted to people regardless of their gender, simply not sexually, more like aesthetically and romantically.
Like many other though I wasn’t sure if I was “asexual enough”. Listening to a lot of asexuals and their stories, it took me until last year to understand that in fact I was “panromantic asexual”.
I don’t know where on the spectrum I am, but I don’t care. Just the fact to know that I am not alone and people out there understand, is relieving.
It was a long and hard road to go especially since asexuality is something that still isn’t talked about enough.
Many people grow up without knowing that it’s a sexual orientation like others or without knowing that it even exists.
As part of the LGBTQ+ Community I myself know that it is sometimes hard to find designs, be it on clothing or accessories, which show your pride in a more subtle way especially in everyday life.
We want to show our pride but it shouldn’t be a label that defines us, right?
That’s why I decided to start a whole “collection” around this topic, in which the designs have various pride flags in them but in more subtle way.
Again I don’t think that labels should define us, because you are more than that.
You are you.
But finding a definition of what describes your feelings, finding a definition that helps you understand yourself better and knowing that you are not alone is helpful and may take so much off of your shoulders. Because sometimes it doesn’t sound like it could be a big deal, but for some people it is something they really struggle with.
Everyone wants to know who they are, right?
This train of thought was the inspiration for “Retro LGBTQ”. I had shared my first designs on on my instagram account @yukiryuuzetsuart but decided to create, @retrolgbtq, an account that is only dedicated to designs for sexual orientations and gender identities.
The collection though borrows a little space from my regular shop where I upload artworks on various merchandise. Like this project? Check it out!
Wish you all a very belated Happy New Year!
Hopefully your year started well. ♥
The last weeks have been quite overwhelming and today I’ll share it with you. In January, I had my second exhibition opening. It’s going on until 31st of March.
The audience attending the overture was extremely poor but things turned out better than I could have asked for. Even though there was basically no one I still am grateful to say that we had a great conversation with the communes’ mayor. He told me that after all what’s really important is who visits the exhibition in general and not who is there at the overture. His words were quite motivating as I think he’s kinda right. He also asked for a commission! Thanks to the exhibition a week later I got an email from the newspaper who asked me for an interview which really was mind-blowing for me and to be honest it literally made me nervous. But it was a great experience and it felt great to see something happening. It simply made me happy to have my work be recognized. Sometimes it’s easy to stay blind to the progresses you’re making. Even though you see little things moving forward it may feel like nothings progressing. Like for example there’s this small art and craft market that I’ve been attending as an artist since … must be something like 2014? It’s been quite a few years now and of course there are more people who now remember me, there is a rise in sales and more business cards that are being taken with compared to when I first started doing this, but sometimes it feels like nothing’s going on.
Last year and this one especially feels like a blessing. Not only about the exhibitions or the fact that there’s an article of me in the newspaper, but also the small increase in commissions. Yeah, it’s not much but to me personally the progress that I’m making is much more visible and it’s motivating. These are small steps and I’m far away from making a living from art and other that but at least it’s something. Even small steps are steps forward. Also, to have friends, family or even strangers who support you in what you’re doing can be really motivating and it’s something to be grateful for. What I want to say is: Before you get discouraged please count in the small steps that you’re making because they’re as much worth it as the big steps. Everyone has their own space. Just because you need three days to finish an artwork and someone else only needs one day doesn’t mean you’re less talented.
Everyone has their own way of doing things and none is better or worse. If it works for you than it’s good. You don’t need 1k of followers on Instagram to prove what you’re capable of. Care less about what others will say and do what makes you happy.
Have a great day. ♥
A short blog post about what’s going on …
Starting of with my new “main” art shop. If you follow me on instagram or if you’ve been on my website you may have stumbled upon my artworks, which you possibly even liked. If you did then you’re probably interested in checking out my new art shop on spreadshirt. Link to the art shop
It would mean a lot to me knowing that my art actually speaks people so if you feel like supporting me then you’re welcome to follow me on social media or check out my website.
What’s up next? It’s also about art and an upcoming comic.
I’m not telling much, but it’s going to be a series of short one-page comics about life. (slice of life) I don’t know yet when I’ll start with the uploads but I’ll keep you updated.
Anyway for those who like cute and relatable things, this might be interesting.
I now take Tattoo Design Commission (only the Design not the final Tattoo), price range is between 40 and 120 euro depending on the complexity of the motive.
Here’s an example of a design that I’ve done already:
Please do not reuse the design, as it is customized for the person who’ll wear it and therefore personal.
If you’re interested in commissioning me you may contact me here or on social media.
A lot is going on right now and even though sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, I’m still moving forward. Whatever your dreams are NEVER give up.
I know sometimes we’d love to simply let it be, because sometimes it sounds easier, but it doesn’t have to be. Whatever the path you chose looks like, you’ll always come across hurdles. Even if your dreams feels out of reach and far away you’re getting closer step by step. Someone else might be there sooner, but remember this is not a competition, it’s you who want to reach your dreams and you do it your way. If you’re slower than someone else than don’t let this disturb you, because everyone has their own pace of doing things.
I’m going to leave with this for now.
Hello! How are you?
The last weeks have been quite and for a reason:
My first “real“ exhibition opened yesterday! Wohoo~ ! ♥
And what’s awesome too is that one of my artworks has been sold too! The buyer will get it at the end of the exhibition and honestly seeing him was a big surprise because it’s someone with whom I’m working on a project! He said he saw that I had an exhibition in the newspaper and that he decided to surprise me and I swear he did. xD I was shaken.
Right, anyway this experience is really exiting. And this is only the beginning …
I feel like the last weeks brought back my motivation and energy. I’ve realized that even though I knew what I wanted I didn’t really move. Isn’t it that sometimes we feel misunderstood and overseen and in the next moment we’ll realize that we don’t even understand ourselves? How are others supposed to understand you or to see you a certain way if you don’t do it yourself? How are others supposed to acknowledge and take you serious when you don’t yourself? You might not even realize that you don’t, but if you did believe in yourself then you wouldn’t struggle to move on towards your dreams or not? At the same time sometimes we need to stumble and fall to rediscover ourselves, don’t we?
Sometimes life moves on so fast that we almost lose sight of all the little things surrounding us. It is now that your living not yesterday, not in an hour and not tomorrow. Right now whatever you’re doing is the moment to live.
Do what you love and live your life after all no one can take it away from you but you yourself. So move on and live the moment. Our thoughts form our reality, don’t they?
If that’s the case than you’re capable of everything. — An ye harm none, do what ye will.
Btw. I made a Flyer for the exhibition and thought you might be interested in it that’s you’ll see it at the end of the post. (It’s only the front page though)
Blessed be. ♥
Today is information day. Sorry, not sorry. It has to be done. First things first: I HAVE NEWS! I now know that my next exhibition will start on November 9th at 4pm! (This year in the Marienkloster in Düren-Niederau/Germany btw.)
This is so exciting because it’s my first time experiencing an exhibition this way, with opening and what’s all around. There’s also a musician. Like a guitarist, and they said he was young to, and they think it’ll match and I can’t wait to hear what he’s doing!
Are you interested in seeing a bit from the progress for the exhibition and the exhibition itself when it’ll be time? Let me know in the comments.
What’s new? Actually today I opened commissions for custom hand-painted clothing and accessories. (See Featured image) So for those interested you may contact me here.
Also this is not all that I’m doing. For those who don’t know: I’m an artist that does a little graphic design, too. You can check all information about commissions whether it’s illustration or graphic design here.
Don’t forget to check out my portfolio and for those who like what they see check out my social media (especially Instagram @yukiryuuzetsuart) for regular updates and lots of artworks, sketches and doodles.
Last but not least:
Just wondering … Do you also feel guilty when using words like “I,my, me“ all the time?
This was a short post. Next one won’t be. Promise.
Have a great day or sleep well! ♥
Last year my sister started watching Supernatural. It didn’t take her long to ask me to cosplay Sam and Dean, because you’ll laugh but they really are similar to us expect we don’t argue that often. But the rest I swear – xD
Anyways since she kept insisting on me watching Supernatural I watched (binge watched to be honest) it at the beginning of the year. It was just to awesome.
Also since the year began I felt really low on energy but Supernatural really kind of helped me. Right now I’m rewatching it because it always helps me to relieve some kind of stress and motivates me. Actually the best compliment you could hear is that I have a Supernatural OC (OC=Original Character) which doesn’t happen often when it’s a show with actors (a show that’s not animated or else). You could say it’s huge compliment to the actors, because as said I have a lot of OCs. It’s just not a lot that are on shows or movies played by actors. If you’re interested in knowing more about my OCs and how they are created then let me know what you want to know about them and stay tuned for another post that’ll be coming up.
Back to Supernatural … There is also the Supernatural Cast: listening to panels, following them on social media etc. will always lift me up to the point of me crying because of their kindness. I’m sure that some of you will relate.
If there was away to thank everyone from the cast and behind the scenes without hesitating I’d be right there.
Anyways we cosplayed them in September for the first time and wearing Sam felt so comfortable which is why I’m so excited for the next times we’ll wear them.
He was one of the characters that felt so good to cosplay this year and that reminded me of why I’ve been cosplaying since 2011/2012.
Right now even though I’m kind of low of energy I still feel really motivated to do a bunch of things (which I am) including cosplay, art and more.
That’s it for today! Always stay tuned and never forget that you are not alone!
You’re loved and have a great day!
See you soon!
Photographer: @nana_jane1988 (instagram)
Dean Winchester: @cocos_logbook
Sam Winchester and photo pdit: yukiryuuzetsuart (me)
“I am tired.“ — Honestly I don’t even know what the point of this blog will be, but I’ll just go on and write. Maybe someone will understand.
I’m not about to say that this year is a bad year because there has been worth, but somehow I feel tired. I’m good but at the same time I’m not sure if I am.
“All I wanna do is art.“ — Of course no one ever said it was going to be easy and I’m not complaining about the fact that nothing happens overnight.
Probably I should be grateful. I got a side job, one that I can’t complain about, so that in the meantime I can focus on doing what I love and working on various projects.
You know this feeling of working against yourself instead of moving forward?
It feels like I am stuck. Stuck in … overthinking? Maybe. It sounds weird but all I wanna do is create art, write poems and stories, edit videos, share it with the world. I want to spent time in nature without having to worry about every detail I should to in the meantime. All I want is to live. Have fun and “work to live instead of living to work“, as a friend described it well last week. Can you understand what that means?
I am not unhappy, just probably unfulfilled and it kind of sucks. Confusion sucks.
I’m sharing this because somehow maybe I hope that I’m not alone feeling this way.
23. A friend from the academy which we both went to and I had a discussion shortly after graduating about how even the thought of having to work in a “regular job“ kind of pulls us down. If you love what you’re doing than you’ll have enough reasons to love your job, right? Sure. It’s just about finding the things that you love. So why am I stuck? Again all I want is to create and enjoy life even when the “brain is kicking in really hard“. This year is so weird because I know what I want but also it seems like I don’t.
It’s not like I don’t want to work and again I should be grateful, because there has been progresses over the year. They clearly are visible. But at the same time it feels like I’ve locked myself up in cage, lost the keys and can’t get out of it any more. I want to work for something that has meaning to me, for something that makes sense. Nothing makes me happier than spending days on an artwork to see people interpret it in so many ways, to them smile or even cry and how it even helps them go through hard times.
“When captured birds grow wiser, they try to open the cage with their beaks. They don’t give up, because they want to fly again.“ ~ Masashi Kishimoto (Author of Naruto)
When I was younger this quote inspired me a lot and it still does. Though somehow it feels harder than thought. What is keeping me from moving?
I’m sure I will make it and maybe I have to go through this to grow, still it sucks not to be sure what is going on with oneself. Is anyone here reading this experiencing similar feelings? (If you feel in a similar way than know that you are not alone.)
Does anyone even understand the problem hiding behind those words?
Anyway this is it for today. Have a great day! ♥